I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
