Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I got inside last night via doggy door
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
