his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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