what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
