At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
