You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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