How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
