So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
