is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
