It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
