Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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