hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
