Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
