My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
