I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Screwed.edu
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
We got so high we made milksteak
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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