Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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