Ambien. No doubt about it.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Your topless pictures make me question reality
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
