Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
birth control should be required to get into college
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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