And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
