Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
