Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
