I'm so fucking centered right now
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
