you guys were way drunker than both of me
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize