Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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