3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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