why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
