You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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