I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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