the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
