he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
