plz talk dirty to me
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
