Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
