Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
