Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
