i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
