It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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