He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
