It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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