My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
