dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You're earring is so big in my mouth
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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