Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
