Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
