just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize