what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
