Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize