So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
