my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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