I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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