Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
