Porn is love you can see.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
