Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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