What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
