Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
