'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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