new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
