Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
