Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
