she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
